http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1611897/20090521/story.jhtml

 

LOS ANGELES -- Wow.

A lot of Americans (well, "American Idol" fans, at least) are pretty shocked right about now, and it was no different inside the Nokia Theatre on Wednesday night. When Kris Allen's name was announced as the winner, there was thunderous applause, to be sure, but the cameras might not have captured the dumbfounded Adam Lambert fans that made up a good chunk of the crowd. Some of the ardent supporters couldn't even muster a little applause for Allen -- not because they have any personal vendetta against him, but because Lambert was all but crowned season-eight champ weeks ago, if not months ago, by most "Idol" watchers, making Kris' win all the more surprising.

 

And some of the Glamberts didn't take the results lightly. One woman, who had been waving a "My Doctor Says I Have Glambertitis" poster throughout the show, made her way to the exit immediately after the announcement (maybe she didn't want to hear "No Boundaries" again?), and she was followed by dozens of people. Did they want to get to the parking garage early, or were they mourning Lambert's loss? Well, one fan was heard venting on her way to the door: "I thought this was a singing competition."

So Another New yr came,
I feel so bad, I was almost sleep when the new yr was celebrated back home, it just shows how detached I'm from my culture and family.  it does hurt a bit as I do wonder if I'd be closer to my family and culture if I wasn't gay.

Anyhow this was a beautiful strategic move on behalf of Mr.Obama to send out a msg to Iran, addressing both the people and the government. Many consider this an Oliver branch, but it all depends if Iran is willing to take the step forward. It's interesting that he acknowledged the Islamic Republic which means he is not in for a regime change, but to bring forth democracy.

I hope many in Iran got to see this

So I broke my toe on Wed night and I've been pretty much home bound since, so much for holidays and having any type of plans. I will make sure to be out of town next yr.

My lack of mobility has led to me spending way too much time on the internet looking at pictures of guys and planning my next kinky trip. Been spending too much time on squirt which is pretty much disgusting in Calgary. Anyway, something funny happened today:

Usually when I reject guys I just close my chat window and I hate guys that get bitchy afterwards saying shit like:" oh atleast u can say ur not interested, bitch"...blah blah blah get a clue

In addition to that, anyone that knows that, I DONT take rejection too well MYSELF, comes from yrs of being considered good looking, then suddenly losing the hair, adding 30lbs, and moving to this cowtown..

So I was talking to this guy and it was all going well, then suddenly he was like, oh sorry i just realized ur not my type...Retarded huh? So I got kindda pissed and I was like um, after 20mins of talking u just realized it? how come? and he goes:

I just realized you are arab, it's not my thing because I believe americans still have a war to finish in Iraq and they need to get that race wiped out from the planet

HUH???

My response, oh dude ur retarded, persians and Iraqies are not the same, but hey good luck. BLOCKED


Im seriously considering moving to some place like SF or Montreal in a few yrs..this town is fucking retarded..Only u could get shit like this in canada mainly in Alberta or far east

Half way though the day I got this msg from Chaz mentioning hey, Steve Woods took his life this past weekend...............

Silence......

I first met Steve on BigMusclebear 3-4 yrs ago and from time to time we used to talk about graphic design and stuff like that since he was in TV production and I was studying Digital Media design. He used to work crazy hrs so it took quite a while for us to get to meet up. But we did hit it off and did hang out from time to time. Eventually after I moved to Calgary we lost touch....I cant stop but think that we could have otherwise been good friends. I always felt easy around the guy! Last time I ever talked to him was in June 2008, he wanted to meet me at woodys, but I didn't get around to it! We never talked again. I feel so fucking ignorant! :(

He was definately one of those people that I thought fondly of when I look back at living in Toronto. Good memorries. Even though I didn't know him well at all, I miss him. I also really miss seeing my friends from Toronto, parents, grade school friends, we take so much for granted, our own issues and life becomes so larger than life that, one day you wake up and someone is gone! That scares me.

Steve You will be missed.

Thought these lyrics from Rent fit the bill well, since the day he chose to find peace by taking his life, something died or broke in the heats of everyone that knew Steve:

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.

Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.

But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.
.........
.........
.........

This past weekend was so much fun. It was great spending time with friends and as always having Chaz around as a friend and tour guide throughout the weekend.

The weekend really started for me when i was sitting at this Sport's bar in in the LAS airport having a beer waiting for Chaz and listening to some Music. Suddenly i couldn't stop grinning and thinking to myself, wow Rez, life can get any better than this can it? Suddenly all my worries and stress I've had to put up with through work seemed like a thing in the past. It was such an amazing feeling.

Kathy Griffin was awesome. I laughed for a solid 2hrs. I'd love to see her again.

Sat-  Chaz and I toured the strip for the most part and did some shopping. I had my share of shopping at Abercrombie, and Ruhel, but aparently 2006 called and they wanted their Abercrombie back, I'm all about 7 Jeans now? We'll see...Sat night bunch of us ended up in this shady looking mexican resturant with amazing food, lots of good laughs, tones of drinks and just good company. Our server seriously reminded me of Bon Que Que  from SNL, but she was super nice. We were back there Mon night as well.

Gawd after 5-6 Margs we headed to a super kewl Gayb, hot bodies, beautiful supper clean cut guys, not really my thing, but the music was awesome. Met Chaz's friend Jim and that's that...Fell sleep around 4-5

Sun - More shopping, OH winning lil over $500 at this one slot machine that kept on giving, hilarious drag show, and more drinking. Will post pics since the drag show was super hilarious...Saw the fountainshow infront of B hotel at night, honestly breath taking!

Mon - I was seriously sad having to leave the amazing weather and come back to Calgary. Sometimes I envy Chaz for having the ability to get out of town as often as he does. Met with a friend of his Jean-Paul for lunch at cheesecake factory. Food was amazing, so were the conversations and good laughs, in 26 degree heat!! UGH... I got home around 2:30AM

I can't wait to take off and leave calgary again

well I havent posted anything in ages.... Going to start writing in here again..just no more long novels about love. But there is enough happening at work to keep me busy on here...

I decided to dedicate my first post to britney now that she has decided to put her craziness aside... I've decided to stop shaving my head too and go back to writing on my blog..and start wearing underwear in public

oh so this first post is for you brit...anyone that thinks she can't sing, should see this blog..she actually can..and in some sad way, its actually not too too bad....

So i was pretty excited about moving to this place close to work, Right size, great location, nice looking building as well as a decent price...

So after going through 2-3 days of various reference checks and being hassled, the landlord agreed and she is willing to sign the lease with me....

Today i received an email from her stating the following:

Hi Reza.

I am back and I have some news.

The lady from apartment 403, initially available for July 1,is moving out on May 31 so the apartment will be available June 1.  I've already had some visitors who offer to rent it for xxx/ month. (30 dollars more than what we agreed on 4days ago)

I tried to contact you on your mobile because I do not know if you are still interested

Please call

Elena

What a fucking piece of shit, people are such low lifes to do that to others.... needless to say I'm not going to go ahead with the place though I'm super disappointed since i really liked the location/building....you know i really like living in calgary and enjoy company of my friends, but some of these challenge really make it tough to enjoy living here......can't help not to get upset over this one

Yes working on my lil accounting assignment does lead to thoughts about death and funeral,.. No seriously, I don't like much of what Celine Dion has released in the past few yrs, and this is another proof of that statement. I was listening to "falling into you"  and came across this super awesome song that totally is going to fit my funeral. Just need to ask Chaz to re-write this for piano and we'll be all set. It's called Fly

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Wed February 28/07

In three days it will be a yr since I moved to Calgary. When I arrived it was a cold dark night, I was sitting in a cab driving towards Hanson Ranch, looked outside of the window and everything looked so unfamiliar. What was going through my head? I was asking myself…shit Rez what did you do?...

 It’s been a year, is it clear now why I was so adamant about moving to Calgary? Gawd not really. Perhaps Chaz played a part in that. Yes yet again I can’t make a post in this blog without mentioning his name. I moved because I wanted to enjoy a better quality of life. Has the quality of my life changed? Absolutely but how should I feel content when there are 27yr olds out there that are miles ahead of me? All I can do is to move on forward and try to do well for myself.

 What’s in the bag for next yr? I’m not 100% sure.  I have many short term plans, a Car, starting to save towards having my own place, continuing to take these courses though I’m not sure if I’m wasting my time or not with this accounting agenda of mine, oh and I miss my friends from Toronto Big time!

 More than anything I hope I will have a better sense of direction and more confidence in a yr time from now. Much like the old times in which I used to make 2-3 posts with songs dedicated to who knows what, here is a lovely song:

 

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone. 

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Love almost all the tracks on this album

tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it

Lord knows I'll fail you time and again,
But you and me we're alright

We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship has run aground

Lord knows I'll fail you time and again,
But you and me we're alright

We won't say our goodbyes you know its better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need all we need, a lover's alibi
Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
So don't say your goodbyes you know its better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change [x2]
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi